A personal revelation of grace.
Have you ever had one of those days when you're not really prepared or motivated for the day? Or you were prepared/motivated for the day, but somewhere along the way that preparation/motivation left you. At moments you didn't know what to do, feeling overwhelmed by everything you set out to do.
Or, at the very moment you needed to decide some matter about your business, finances, or home life, all clarity escaped you and left you feeling inadequate and unsure. To make matters worse, you felt like you'd hit a wall in your day because you couldn't decide. Then inevitably, you end up not wanting to do anything else for the rest of the day; the beckoning call of a hot cup of tea and a furry blanket echo through your mind louder than any of the responsibilities you know you must see to.
Have you ever had a day like this? A day when you said, "I just don't feel like it today?" I certainly have!
This was my yesterday. Yesterday was a pretty tough day for me. I felt like I was in a fog; my thoughts seemed to be all "a-jumble." Whatever I thought to do, what I had on my schedule to do, I really didn't want to do. I didn't have the clarity of thought to accomplish the things I'd set out to do. As I went through the day yesterday, I realized that my morning routine was off. I slept longer than I said I was going to. I did not spend time in prayer yesterday morning as usual, and I didn't have the strength to tackle my day in the "goal-getter" way I typically operate. I just didn't feel like it.
As I sat to confess my feelings and my thoughts in my journal last night before bed, I heard a Word from Holy Spirit telling me, "Take a breath. It's OK – and you're OK. Tomorrow will be better."
"It's OK. Tomorrow will be better."
I heard the words of grace. Grace was releasing me from the expectation of perfection. It released me from the pressure of hitting every mark, always moving and shaking, always producing. I am so grateful for grace.
Grace is the comforting space of allowing your emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual limitations to be what they are and where they are without the burden of "fixing them" or covering them up. Grace allows you to have the space to just be the imperfect, sometimes cloudy-minded, sometimes unsure human that you are – and that's OK.
As someone typically super productive, super self-motivated, and a self-starter, hearing that my deficiency is OK was challenging. If you're anything like me, this isn't easy for you to hear either. I already hear your thoughts: "Diane, I can't afford to have an off day!" "I understand what you're saying, but I can't let up – I have to keep pushing!" "I can't afford to be imperfect!"
Listen, I get it. Yep, the self-starter, super producer in me had to listen to the message from Holy Spirit that said, "it's OK to have an off-day. It's OK if every day isn't a 'super' day." I had to hear, receive, and accept that every day isn't going to be my best day. And that's OK. Tomorrow will be better.
Friend, can I offer to you that every day isn't going to be your best day? You won't feel 100% effective, 100% present, and 100% motivated every day. Every day will not feel like you're walking on top of the world, and that's OK. That's when you need to lean into grace, as I did. Hit the pressure release button and just breathe.
We all need a moment every now and then to break from the pressure of perfection, the pressure to perform, and the pressure to produce. We all need to allow ourselves the grace and the space to attend to our emotions – those pesky little things that warn us of crossed boundaries (physical, emotional, and mental). We all need to allow ourselves to take our foot up from the gas for just a moment and coast. We need to take time off to breathe, sit still, and regather our thoughts and intentions … and that's OK.
Grace is available. Lean into it.
"Tomorrow will be better."
Until next time,
Diane
